Comfort not Conformity

Every woman who has endured the discomfort of high heels or the constriction of shapewear knows the unrelenting pressure to conform to societal beauty standards. Is it possible to break free from this and prioritise our comfort without sacrificing style?

We've been bombarded with societal expectations, photoshopped ideals, and unrealistic beauty standards for far too long. We have felt shame about what our body looks like; shame about not feeling good enough in our skin. The idea of 'comfort not conforming' isn't just about the clothes we wear; it's about embracing our bodies, loving them as they are, and shedding shame.

Our skin isn't meant to fit a mold or meet someone else's standards of beauty. It's meant to be a comfortable and unique home for our souls. And that's something to be celebrated. Let's find comfort in our skin, our authenticity, and reject the conformity that's told us we're not good enough. You are more than enough, just as you are.

Societal Expectations

Fueled by the media, the relentless message dictating how women should look serves to disempower and stifle individuality. Women often find themselves investing more time, money, and effort in fashion and beauty, compared to their male counterparts. We are still living in a world that predominantly celebrates the youthful version of femininity, rather than embracing the evolving, mature woman as she progresses through different stages of life. This pressure leads many women to dye their hair and explore hormone therapies in a desperate attempt to cling to their past, driven by society's narrow definition of beauty.

It’s difficult to stage a revolution when you are concerned that your curves are in all the wrong places! When you’ve been told your breasts must be perky and held up by underwires that dig in. Or the silent struggle of underwear that controls and reshapes your body to fashion’s ‘physical ideal’. 

How Did We Get Here?

Manufacturing and feeding insecurity serves the capitalist machine by conning us into parting with our cash in pursuit of the illusion of ‘perfection’. It also serves the patriarchal agenda by keeping us distracted and fixated on external appearance.

Margaret Atwood famously wrote, ‘You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur.’

Margaret illustrates how deeply patriarchal views have been embedded in our very own minds. It's as if there's a part of us that internalises the male gaze, shaping our perception of ourselves. We become both the observer and the observed, often through the lens of societal expectations of how women should exist in the world. This internalisation of the male gaze can seep into our lives, negatively affecting our mental health and causing us to objectify ourselves even in the privacy of our own thoughts. Social media can exacerbate this issue by bombarding us with filtered images to which we unfavourably compare ourselves.

Practically, this obsession with conformity leaves us choosing clothing to accentuate our most appealing features while concealing our perceived flaws, instead of prioritising how what we wear makes us feel. The essential difference lies in dressing for ourselves, rather than conforming to societal expectations.

Reclaiming Our Power Through Comfort 

Let's release the need to conform and embrace comfort without sacrificing the way we look and feel. Every woman is different and deserves to feel good in her own skin, and in what she puts next to it.

In order to free ourselves we must flip the script and look within; ask ourselves first how what we wear makes us feel; affirm that when it comes to our own bodies, our opinion is the only one that matters. One of the most radical ways a woman can reclaim her power is to love herself, inside and out. Self love begins with being kind to your body. This can be as simple as choosing to clothe ourselves for comfort not conformity. 

At dea, we care about being kind to both your body and your mind. We consciously create media featuring a range of real bodies, so that everyone, no matter how they are made, can connect to their own feeling of being beautiful. Our clothing is designed with your comfort top of mind, in a range of styles to acknowledge and appreciate the diversity of people who can feel good wearing it.